En attendant la reprise des cours d'Anglais pour adultes....

A fellow walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display.

While he was there, a Master Chief Petty Officer from the local Naval Air Station walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'd like a line service monkey, please." The clerk nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the
animal and handed it to the Chief, saying, "That'll be $1,000." The Chief paid and left with the monkey.

Surprised, the fellow went to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?" The shopkeeper answered, "Ah that was a line
service monkey. He can park, fuel, and service all Naval aircraft, conduct all required ground ops testing, rig aircraft flight controls, and all with no mistakes. He is also trained in all carrier flight deck ops. He's well worth the money."

With his interest peaked, the fellow looked around and spotted a monkey in another cage with a $10,000 price tag. "That one's even more expensive! What can it do?" "Oh, that one is a "Maintenance Supervisor" monkey.
She can instruct at all levels of aircraft maintenance, supervise all corrective and preventive maintenance programs, supervise a crew of maintainers, and even do most of the paperwork. A very useful monkey
indeed," replied the shopkeeper.

The guy looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag read, "$50,000". Holy crap! What does this one do?" "Well, the shopkeeper said, I've never actually seen him do anything but drink beer, screw the girl monkeys, and play with his pecker,
but his papers say he's a pilot."

Et une petite en français pour les non-anglosaxophones:

Un homme se balade dans Central Park à New York.  Soudain, il voit un pitbull attaquer une petite fille.  Il se précipite, attrape le chien et finit par le  tuer, sauvant ainsi la gamine.
 
 Un policier qui a vu la scène arrive et lui dit :
 
 «  Vous êtes un héros! Demain, tout le monde pourra
 lire à la une des journaux :  "Un courageux New-yorkais a sauvé la vie d'une
 enfant."
 
 L'homme répond:
 - Mais ... je ne suis pas de New York !
 - Eh bien, on lira :  "Un courageux Américain sauve une petite fille..."
  - Mais... je ne suis pas Américain !
 - Et qu'est ce que vous êtes alors ?
 - Je suis Pakistanais... »
 
 Et le lendemain, les journaux titrent:
 
                                                   "Un extrémiste islamiste massacre un
                                      chien américain  sous les yeux horrifiés d'une petite fille."